


The Demon Lord is Very Cute When He Doesn't Plan The World's Doom

by KivaEmber



Series: How I Married A Demon Lord [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternative Universe - Isekai, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26954416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KivaEmber/pseuds/KivaEmber
Summary: “You’re too pretty to be wrong,” Akira said bluntly, deciding if this was a dream, he may as well go all in, and if it wasn’t, well, 'Toto, we’re no longer in Kansas', as the saying goes, “I’ll help you.”or;Akira is a university student doing a journalistic degree. He is totally, one hundred per cent normal. Which means he is understandably confused when he found himself in an isekai plot with a very hot demon lord demanding he help him finish conquering the world.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: How I Married A Demon Lord [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1967008
Comments: 25
Kudos: 392





	The Demon Lord is Very Cute When He Doesn't Plan The World's Doom

When Akira woke up at some indeterminable time in the early morning to alien tentacles dragging him out of bed and lifting him towards some ominous, swirling portal embedded in his bedroom ceiling, his first groggy thought was _‘this is a weird wet dream’_. 

When his foot was pulled through the portal (an experience that felt like his leg was being eaten by warm custard), his second, much more alert thought was; _‘wait, this isn’t a dream!’_

But by then it was too late.

Akira was hauled through the custardy portal with a muffled shriek, the next wild seconds nothing more than a nauseating blur of tumbling headfirst down empty space, kept only on target by the tentacles coiled bruisingly tight around his limbs. Several harsh yanks, Akira’s stomach lodging somewhere up into his throat from the violent movement and his supernatural kidnapping, and reality erupted into life in the form of blinding light and polished black marble meeting his ass at high speeds. 

His tailbone did not appreciate this. 

_“Fffngghghhk!”_ was Akira’s response to the unhealthy sounding _‘crck’_ of his coccyx smashing full force against unrelenting marble, the tentacles retreating and leaving him to pathetically curl up on the floor cupping his ass, wincing at the ache radiating from his no doubt shattered tailbone. 

It was, admittedly, not the best first impression he’d ever given.

The click of heels drew Akira out of his pained fog of confusion, squinting through tears at the figure looming over him. The room was dark, lit only by the soft, gentle glow of candles surrounding him in a ring. The wax was burned low, the candlelight mere embers, silhouetting the looming figure in cuts of yellow and orange, the glitter of crimson eyes looking down at him with an air of disdain. 

“So _this_ is the otherworldly villain the Fates have decided to saddle me with. My supposed _equal,"_ Looming Man sneered, “A weakling cowering in my presence-”

“Excuse me,” Akira rasped, too annoyed to be drawn into this man’s theatrics, “But I just cracked my ass on your floor. Can you give me a minute?”

Looming Man paused. He seemed a bit stumped at Akira’s peevish tone. 

“Your… ass?” Looming Man repeated. 

“Ugh, hold on…” Akira gave his bruised tailbone one last rub before he managed to drag himself to his feet. Having been in bed, he was in nothing but his pyjamas, that being his boxers and a too-big t-shirt with the phrase “Women Want Me, Fish Fear Me” emblazoned on the front. He did not cut a villainous figure. 

Looming Man seemed to understand this, who actually wasn’t so looming now that Akira was standing. They were actually the same height, though the man appeared to have some sort of helmet with horns protruding out of it - it was difficult to tell, the lighting was _horrible_ in here. 

“Why is it so dark in here?” Akira complained, hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and slouching. He swept a judging eye over the ring of candles surrounding him. In the dying light, he thought he could see paint splashed on the marble beneath his feet. It looked like something out of an occult magazine, “Oh no, is this some creepy ritual thing?”

Looming Man - now Horny Man - regained some of his pompous air back into his dramatic sails. He straightened up, jutting his chin out as his crimson eyes narrowed dangerously. 

“I performed an _intensive_ and _complicated_ ritual to summon my equal across the cosmos,” Horny Man said grandly, and sounding like he was reciting a speech he had given to himself in the mirror one too many times, “It took years of careful preparation and sacrifice, with the Order of Heroes doggedly trying to-”

“So,” Akira cut in, “It was a creepy ritual thing.”

Horny Man stared at him for a bit. 

“...yes,” he finally said, “Yes, fine, okay. It was a creepy ritual thing. _In any case,_ it brought you here, my supposed _equal.”_

“Your equal in… villainy?” Akira asked in disbelief. 

“Yes.”

Akira scratched the back of his neck and looked about himself. Well, it did kind of check out as an evil villain lair, though he wasn’t sure what this guy had against indoor lighting. Inspection of his meagre surroundings complete, Akira fixed his attention back on his kidnapper and decided this was either a) a very vivid dream or b) real, which meant he didn’t have to finish that essay for his journalistic class today. 

“Okay,” Akira said, rolling with the situation, “Uh, I dunno how to tell you this, but I think you’ve been scammed.”

Horny Man’s displeasure was _palpable._

“I was _not_ scammed,” he hissed, making a violent gesture, “No one _scams me!_ No one would dare!”

“That sounds like something someone who’s easy to scam would say,” Akira pointed out mildly. 

“Shut up!” was Horny Man’s witty response, “Continue with mocking me, and I’ll kill you where you stand!”

“And ruin all your ‘sacrifice’ and ‘careful preparation’?” Akira said, “Sounds wasteful.”

Horny Man moved away from him with a muttered, hissed sound, stomping outside of the ring of candles. He then immediately came back, thrusting a clawed finger just inches under Akira’s nose; “Listen here-”

“Okay,” Akira said agreeably. 

“This ritual was to summon my equal,” Horny Man continued, close enough that all Akira could see were the unearthly glow of his red eyes, “An equal I am in _desperate_ need of, as I have a horde of trash trying to kill me.”

“Any reason why?” Akira asked, already anticipating something like ‘I am trying to rule the world’. 

“Revenge,” Horny Man snarled, straightening up, “They _wronged me,_ and they will _pay for it_ with their damned _lives._ It was going so well, too, before the Fates decided to grace them with otherworldly heroes. Well, I thought that wasn’t fair, so I summoned my _own_ otherworldly hero!”

“Villain,” Akira corrected. 

“Otherworldly villain,” Horny Man amended without missing a beat, his angry posturing melting into something more velvety, more amicable as his voice softened, “So? The Fates chose you, so we must share something in common. Will you help me? If you do, I promise to grant you whatever reward your heart desires.”

It hit Akira then, in the middle of the drafty, dark room and feeling tired and annoyed and achy, that he was in an isekai. Except instead of being asked to perform feats of heroism, he had the big bad ‘overlord’ archetype himself begging for his help. It made him reel a little, leaning back on his heels as he blinked at Horny Man. 

But, if this was an isekai, then that meant… 

“Show me your face first,” Akira demanded, “I want to know what you look like before I agree.”

Horny Man made a confused noise, but he acquiesced. With a wave of his hand, the chamber lit up - it was small, looking like a stone basement out of some medieval dungeon (there were even chains with skeletons trapped in them hanging from the walls, how quaint!). Bluish flames crackled in metal sconces embedded in the walls, granting Akira enough light to clearly see his kidnapper. 

“Yes,” he blurted, staring transfixed at his beautiful face. He looked perfect, with an unfairly handsome face, thick, honey-coloured hair, and black _horns_ that protruded from his forehead and twisted upwards like a bull’s. It was hot. It was very, very hot. 

“Yes?” Horny Man repeated, looking a bit confused at how intently Akira was staring at him. 

“You’re too pretty to be wrong,” Akira said bluntly, deciding if this was a dream, he may as well go all in, and if it _wasn’t,_ well, 'Toto, we’re no longer in Kansas', as the saying goes, “I’ll help you.” 

Horny Man stared at him a bit helplessly, like Akira had just ripped up some script he had been trying to diligently stick to and was now uncertain on how to proceed. 

“Um, alright,” Horny Man said, “That was… easier than I expected. Do you not have conditions? Demands to be met-”

“No, I’m fine,” Akira said, “I’m pretty laidback.”

“I see,” Horny Man stared at him some more, before clearing his throat, “Well, you certainly are an intriguing creature, uh… hm.”

“Akira Kurusu,” Akira supplied helpfully.

“Kurusu,” Horny Man said firmly, “I am Goro, also known as Loki, feared Scourge of the-”

“Goro’s a nice name,” Akira said, “Nice to meet you, Goro.”

“Er- ah, yes, nice to meet you,” Horny Man, now known as Goro, returned automatically.

“Anyway, I’m… kind of losing all feeling in my toes. Your floors are cold,” Akira said pointedly. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll-” Goro stopped, as if realising showing good manners was destroying his initial show of disdainful superiority, “I mean- ugh, how weak are you that cold floors are enough to affect you?!” 

“Hey,” Akira frowned, “Why don’t you take off your shoes and see how fun it is to stand here barefoot. Also, I’m getting this weird paint on my feet-”

“That’s blood.”

Akira stared at him, his gaze slowly becoming heavy-lidded in unimpressed disgust, “Really.” 

“It’s a staple of forbidden rituals, don’t look at me like that,” Goro snapped.

“Who’s blood is this? Yours?”

“That’s none of your business,” Goro sniffed and pivoted on his heel, thrusting his nose high into the air like a sulking cat, “Now, if you’re _quite done_ complaining about meaningless things, follow me. We have much work to do.” 

Akira debated being difficult just to be contrary, but he really was cold and tired, so he just grumbled something quietly under his breath and followed after Goro. They left the dungeon/ritual room/whatever it was, and up a narrow staircase that winded round and round and round until they entered a dimly lit corridor. Seriously, what was it with this guy and living in the dark?

“Do you not have, like, indoor lighting that isn’t magical fire?” Akira asked curiously, “Walking around in the dark like this is bad for your eyes.”

“I can see in the dark,” Goro said smugly, “Why, can’t you?”

“No,” Akira said shamelessly, not bothering to sound awed or envious of Goro’s night-vision (though he was a teensy tiny bit envious), “I can’t.” 

“Weakling,” Goro scoffed, glancing over his shoulder to give him a superior look. 

“Says the guy asking said weakling for help,” Akira returned evenly, and didn’t bother hiding his amusement when Goro scowled and looked away without saying a word. 

The rest of the walk was done in total silence, which Akira took to properly process his situation. Dream or reality, he hadn’t decided yet, but for now all he could do was play along, though… what exactly did playing a villain actually entail? Akira wasn’t a goody two shoes, but he had morals. He wasn’t going to murder or raze villages or whatever evil overlords did in their free time. He might steal something if it’s from a king - yeah, he wouldn’t mind stealing, though Akira didn’t really have experience in that. 

He was a university student doing a journalistic degree! The worst crime he had ever performed was calling in sick when to fraudulently gain an extension on an essay he had forgotten about until last minute. Well- okay, he did have that criminal record for assaulting a guy, but he was framed! That didn’t count. 

Akira frowned to himself. Okay, maybe it’ll be harder than he thought to be a villain this hot guy wanted. 

“Here we are,” Goro spoke up, standing before grand, ornate doors that towered over them, “This is the guest room I set up beforehand.”

The doors opened by themselves, granting access to a _cavernous_ bedroom that looked like it came out of a fairytale picture book. A queen-sized bed with drapery surrounding it, a massive fireplace with some horned beast skull mounted above it - there were portraits of various locations, and one of Goro too which was kind of weird but Akira wasn’t complaining, and, of course, no electric lighting. Just. More. Magical. Fire. 

But Akira ignored this, cautiously stepping inside while Goro hovered in the doorway, taking in the grand opulence of the room with a feeling of bewilderment. This was way too much. One wall was just a bookcase! Full of books! 

“Uh,” Akira turned to Goro, who looked like he was eagerly waiting to be praised without being obvious about it (he was very obvious). Akira didn’t have the heart to say the room intimidated him, “It’s great. Thanks.” 

“Hn, of course it’s great,” Goro preened, buffing his claws against his chest and smirking smugly to himself, “In any case, I’ll grant you your servant now. Rest, and come morning, we will discuss our _partnership_ in more detail.”

 _Ah,_ Akira thought, _he’s regained his mojo._

“Morgana,” Goro called, clapping his hands together. There was a strange popping noise, and Akira jumped when a small figure appeared between them, small, furry, with a big head and looking like a mascot-

“Oh, my god,” Akira breathed, “He’s _adorable!”_

“Hey! I’m not adorable!” the mascot-cat huffed.

“This is Morgana,” Goro ploughed through the moment stubbornly, “A Cait Sith. He has many support skills that may be useful for you.”

“That’s right!” Morgana boasted, puffing out his tiny chest, “I’m also really good at fighting and a world class thief! I’m the best servant you’ll ever get!” 

“Aw,” Akira cooed, his heart melting, “That’s so cool.” 

“Anyway,” Goro continued, looking annoyed for some reason, “He will serve you until his - or your - dying breath.”

“Huh?” Akira looked up, “Wait, _dying-_ ”

“It will be a busy day tomorrow,” Goro said, already stepping away, “Get some rest.” 

And with that his hot kidnapper closed his bedroom doors and presumably left. Akira stared at them for a bit, then turned to his new bestest friend in the whole world, the adorable ‘Cait Sith’ Morgana, who was looking up at him expectantly. 

“So… what’s up with that guy?” Akira asked, jerking a thumb to the doors.

“Master Loki has been working hard against the Shido Kingdom for _years,”_ Morgana said, launching into the exposition like he was prepped for it. Maybe he was. Maybe he was not only Akira’s servant, but Goro’s mini, adorable propaganda machine, “They’re a greedy, awful kingdom who has convinced everyone else in Metaversa that their war against Master Loki is justified! They blame him for crimes and atrocities they pull, and no one believes Master Loki when he protests!”

Akira thought of tall, dark and horned, with his glittering crimson eyes, sharp fangs, demonic horns and black claws and thought; _well, i don’t blame them, really._

“Now all of Metaversa have summoned otherworldly heroes to assassinate Master Loki,” Morgana drooped sadly, “He’s strong, but they’re relentless, and he’s all alone, so…”

“Oh,” Akira’s heart twisted a little, “That sucks.”

“But you’re here now,” Morgana continued, “Master Loki was _so_ excited. He’s been alone for so long, and now he has a partner to help him fight back against Shido.” 

“Uh, I’ll try my best,” Akira said awkwardly, “But I’m not sure how I can help. I’m just… a guy, y’know?”

“Well, you’ve stuck by Master Loki when everyone else would’ve said no,” Morgana said simply, “That’s pretty incredible by itself. His personality is prickly, and he’s socially awkward, and he looks like a demon so people just, you know… think he’s bad at first glance…” 

Morgana was a very super-effective propaganda machine. 

“I guess I’ll keep sticking by him, then,” Akira said, then yawned abruptly, “Ugh, sorry. I’m tired. I was, uh, asleep when Goro kidnapped me.” 

“Let’s get you to bed then!” Morgana said cheerfully. 

After preparing for bed - Akira relieved to see that Goro thought ahead and left a toothbrush in the ensuite bathroom attached to his quarters - he sank into the comfortable, soft mattress and let the thick duvet almost swallow him up. Morgana shapeshifted into the form of an actual cat and snuggled close to him, purring low and gently enough to lull Akira to a pleasant sleep without much coaxing. 

* * *

Akira woke up several hours later. He stared at the dark crimson canopy above him, turned his head to see Morgana the cat curled up next to his head on the pillow, and then turned his head again to see the painted portrait of the incredibly handsome Goro smirking at him. 

He processed.

Then he bolted upright as the gravity of the situation finally dawned on him, blurting;

“ _Shit_! This is _real_!”

Thus began Akira’s adventure as the Evil Overlord’s partner-in-crime.

**Author's Note:**

> okay i just had to write this when the idea gripped me ok. it'll be a low energy, cracky series of oneshots, and you can probably guess the plot if you've read isekai light novels fhfhhjsjdf i hope you enjoy this!
> 
> (also demon lord goro looks like this: https://twitter.com/Mara_dine/status/1315317315706249218 thank you mara)


End file.
